God truly is an awesome God! Many people do not understand why God allows bad things to happen. In my COVID experience, I discovered that God is not to be blamed for suffering, but to be praised because He never leaves us nor forsakes us; especially in times of storms and troubles.
In the first part of September of this year, I tested positive for COVID. I was more concerned about losing my job and what I was going to do if I did. I had no concept of the grave storm I would soon face.
My dad suffered from asthma most of his life. I still remember all the hospital visits he made as seasons changed throughout the years of his life. I remember hearing him gasp for air, as he reached for his albuterol. At that time, it was painful to watch him suffer not being able to breath. I could not fathom not being able to breathe and suffer as he did. There were moments where I could actually hear the wheezing in his lungs as struggled to get a breath. On his last hospital visit, we were notified by the medical staff that the doctor had discovered tumors in his lymph nodes. Dad, being who he was, declined chemotherapy and not even two months later in 1998, he was gone.
After visiting Dr. Lovelace’s office and receiving the antibodies to help fight COVID, I was immediately taken to Newberry County Memorial Hospital. I remember Rita Bowles walking with me to the ER, where I met with a nurse who directly led me to the ICU. When we got to a certain place in ICU, I remember I couldn’t walk anymore and almost collapsed. Thank God for wheelchairs. After that, everything seemed blurred and obscure. To this day, I have difficulty remembering how I went from walking normally to having IVs, a pulse oximeter on my finger, and a cannula running out of my nose and having to depend on oxygen machines for air circulating to my lungs; I could no longer breathe on my own.
I remember gasping for air and developing a fear of not being able to catch my next breath. I became anxious and afraid, as I asked God for my next breath. At this, there were times when memories of my dad came flooding back: to hurt watching him gasp for air, now it was I who was gasping for air. Second after second, hour after hour and day after day, was difficult and laborious. It was so difficult not being able to communicate with the outside world; even stressful when I thought that I would never leave ICU. Finally the day came when I was well enough to have my own private room. What a relief, yet still very difficult to get around, as I depended on the nursing staff to help me.
This is where the apologies come in; I know I was not the best patient in the hospital, so I publicly apologize to the nursing staff, doctors and physical therapy members who aided in my getting well enough to take the next step in the healing process. To the physical therapy staff, thank you for the efforts you made to help me get stronger, even though I was not as kind as you were. Of all the kindness the medical staff demonstrated; all the sacrifice they made and all the times they were there for me, I will never forget these words that were spoken to me – “breath in your nose and out your mouth!”
So, I was in ICU for a little over a month; another two weeks in my private room at the hospital and when I was finally released, I spent another twelve days in acute physical therapy at Encompass Health, Columbia. Eventually, God strengthened me again to where I was strong enough to go home.
I am still on oxygen and nebulizers to this day, but I am home, recovering slowly but gradually improving. To walk you through every stage of the process would take up more space in this article than I can share; suffice it to say, it was a very difficult journey, but needed.
The reason I share this moment in my life is a fourfold acknowledgement:
• One, this experience is not about me; it is about what God brought me through. It was a journey designed to honor and glorify God; to learn that I do not need to go to God and tell him how big my storm is; but rather go to the storm and tell it how big my God is! God is worthy of praise in good health and bad.
• Two, this experience showed me the heart of wonderful people at Newberry County Memorial Hospital. Especially to the nursing staff; thank you so much for all that you do, even with difficult patients like me. Thank you for holding my hand; thank you for bringing me water and Sprite Zero when I was thirsty; thank you for the small fan when I needed it (I still have it). I honor all the kindness you showed me in times of crisis and panic. You may not know this, but, even in ICU I never forgot your kindness and how you to tried to help me breath. God richly bless you and all those who are important to you!
• Three, to all my family back in Texas, who diligently prayed for me…I love you very much and miss you; to all my friends who diligently prayed for me and sacrificed their time, expenses and resources to help me get back to my feet again…thank you so much. From pastor James Chaffins, and my church family who took care of my home expenses; to Rita Bowles, who made herself available in washing my clothes and made so many travels, making sure I had what I needed; to the entire community of Prosperity; Chief Wesley Palmore, Corey Jones, Philip Hunter, Jamaurie Gause, Donald Johnson to Karen Livingston, Karen Hansel an Michelle Bundrick; Trent and Kelli Fowler and Kendal of The Blend, Dianne from Dianne’s Designs, Carter Lake Insurance, Glenn Hamm, Candice Counts, Tony and his staff at Roma’s House of Pizza, Newberry County Sheriff’s Office and all my dispatchers. I never realized how many people were praying and asking for me. I cannot name all of you, but when I say Prosperity, I certainly include you; I hope that I have not dishonored or disgraced you by not naming you. I was overwhelmed as your phone calls and text messages flooded my phone…I thank each and everyone one of you for your thoughtfulness.
• And four, I hope and pray that what I experienced will encourage anyone who is going through difficulty; you are not alone. I hope that my experience will serve as a reminder of God’s faithfulness and love, working in the lives of those who reach out to you…don’t ever slap a helping hand: it might be God’s hand reaching to you through others!
To all of you I say thank you! I greatly appreciate you and all you did for me!
I end this article as I began it; by giving glory to God, who is worthy of all praise and honor. Thank you Lord; when I struggled for that next breath, you sent people to help me. It is only by your grace, that got me through it. Thank you for never leaving me nor forsaking me and thank you for your incredible love. Having gone through this journey I know I wasn’t perfect in the middle of the storm, but I hope that I have honored you and glorified my Savior, Jesus Christ, through the power of your Holy Spirit. I pray that you bless everyone who gave in service and sacrifice; because Lord, they certainly blessed me. I hope that in this short article, you will use what I went through to help others as a testimony of how great you are. God, you are lifted high because you are thrice holy!
“Lord make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is; that I may know how frail I am.” PSALM 39:4.