All You Need To Know To Be Healthier in 2023: Do You Like Your Doctor?

Being a doctor or patient can be complicated. No matter which side of the room you are on, you must balance your wants and needs with reality and the wants and needs of the other person. If you feel like this is starting to read more like a relationship advice column, that’s because it is. For our third part of the series on being healthier in 2023, I would like to focus on the most important relationship you can have in healthcare. This is a relationship that should have complete honesty, trust and open communication. This is the relationship with your primary care provider (PCP).

I have written in the past about primary care, but here’s a quick review. Every time you interact with healthcare, you are in a system. Every system is designed to get certain results, so there is a preferred way to use that system. Primarily, you would go to primary care first outside of emergencies. This is because your PCP is expected to know everything about your health and help prevent you from getting sick as much as possible.

Knowing everything about someone’s health and helping them stay healthy when I have zero control over their choices is challenging, but I love it. From my side as the PCP, I see you as not just a patient, but a partner in wellness. And I would hope the feeling is mutual, but it is not automatic. Just like any relationship, it needs to have intention from both parties. That means that you should hold your PCP accountable for listening to you and make sure you are saying what you need to be said. I used to work at a Waffle House and being a family doctor is just as much of a service job. If I’m not paying attention to you when you really need smothered and diced hash browns cooked hard, would you just let me bring you whatever I think you need? Why should it be any different with your health? On the other hand, I can pay all the attention in the world, but my stethoscope does not let me hear your thoughts. Talk to your doctor and let them know how you really feel. We are your waiters of wellness!

But having a great relationship with your PCP also requires trust. That’s a very complicated word given the years of racism, classism, and sexism that medicine has been guilty of promoting. But how do we build trust with anyone? We give folks a chance instead of assuming the worst. I am not saying to trust anyone with a white coat, because that’s not true trust. I am saying you should use your power as the customer. Get a PCP if you don’t have one. Ask yourself if you have a good relationship with the one you have. Hold us accountable. Change doctors if you must. We don’t play with our waffles, why should wellness be different?