Making moments can make many more

I like to sit on my front porch and watch the sun break against the trees along the western side of my yard. Like the slow movement of an elevator, the shadow of my neighbor’s roof gradually descends, creating a duotone effect on the trees, dark below the shadow line and bright above. It really brings out the colors of the blossoms, berries, an off-colored leaf, drops of dew.

And, lately, I’ve taken up bird watching, though in honesty, I’m more of a bird “glancer” than a full-on watcher. If I were a bird and my species was named for my level of bird watching, I’d probably be a southern gray glancit.

One morning last week, I was sitting on my porch and saw a mockingbird land on a branch of a nearby holly tree.

Quickly, it snatched a bright red berry off the branch, and for a split second, that mockingbird was perfectly silhouetted against the tree with that berry between its beaks and set off against the deep green, sundrenched leaves of the tree.

I thought, “man, I wish I had my camera.”

And just that quickly, the mockingbird flew away and the moment was lost.

We know we need the “moments.” The past year has taught us that. We need moments of quietness, and peacefulness, and mindfulness.

Author Gabrielle Garrett tells the story of a summer she spent alone in Italy and how she regretted the way she spent her time there.

“My mind stayed distracted as I wondered what I should post online. It seemed much more important to capture photos to upload to social media,” she said.

“I now wish I had traveled to nearby cities, spent my days reading in a café, anything out of the ordinary,” Garrett shared. “I discovered that if I want to be happy, it would be my own doing. Happiness is an interior process and comes without validation from others.”

Garrett wished she had used the opportunity to grow in her happiness, but moments in solitude can also calm us and recharge us at the same time. By living in the moment, we reawaken ourselves to the present, rather than dwelling on disappointments of the past or anxieties about the future.

In a 2017 study by Thuy-vy Nguyen, et al, people became less angry and anxious when they allowed themselves some alone time. The researchers concluded that solitude brings a better sense of self-awareness and self-regulation. Taking a moment to take stock and get a grip can decrease stress, anxiety, and depression and help you become more relaxed and calm.

And remember one of the greatest ironies of our time, according to the American Journal of Health Promotion, excessive social media use is one of the biggest risk factors for loneliness. We need in-person interactions to reap the full benefits of social connection.

And the moments we spend with family is just as important. Dr. Todd Thatcher, DO, says that the benefits of spending time with family is a critical component of a full, meaningful life. He reference a study which indicated that people’s stress, happiness, and wellbeing were better predicted by the strength of their social circle than by physical health data.

Interacting with a close social network — and this means face-to-face not on screen — reduces depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges.

People who have healthy relationships tend to cope with stress in a healthier way. Also, the ability to face life’s challenges is greatly improved by a strong social bond.

Children receive additional benefits. First, kids who spend time with parents tend to do better in school. Also, children who spend more time with their families have shown less risk of behavioral issues, such as violence and substance abuse. Lastly, spending time with family builds confidence for all its members.

Parents of teens my not believe this, right now, but these healthy relationships can increase you lifespan up to 50%. Even people with unhealthy physical habits live longer if they have a strong social network.

So schedule time for yourself on a daily basis. That may mean some “being still” time or some exercise time or some “figuring out the rest of the week” time. And in addition, spend a few quality moments with family and friends.

Don’t miss out on the moments! Propitiously enough, they can help you have even more.