I’ve officially hit the age when people feel entitled to ask if I ever plan to get married or have children. The latest cherry on top? Someone told me, “You know, early menopause is a thing.” I might as well be put in a coffin already.
In all seriousness—and not that it’s anyone’s business—but yes, I do want those things for myself. Just not right now.
I think part of that mindset comes from my mom. She had me at 34, and I like to think I turned out pretty well. She got to build her career and experience motherhood—both on her own timeline.
I understand that some older generations view marriage as something important, and I respect that. But we have to accept that everyone follows a different timeline for when they want to make significant leaps in life.
Don’t get me wrong: marriage and motherhood are immense milestones. They deserve celebration and respect. But for me, they’re not the only ones that matter. I’m still working on figuring out who I am and what I want from life. I want those roles to be part of me someday—not all of me.
Call me a hopeless romantic or just delusional—your pick—but I’m also holding out for the one. And I’d rather wait than settle just to meet someone else’s timeline.
But even knowing what I want, and when I want it, doesn’t stop the pressure. There’s this invisible checklist so many women feel they’re supposed to follow: graduate, get a job, find a partner, get married, buy a house, have kids—all preferably before 30. If you don’t, there’s this subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) sense that you’ve fallen behind.
It’s exhausting, and last time I checked, life isn’t a Forbes 30 Under 30 list.
No one tells you life isn’t linear or that timelines aren’t universal. And no one seems to ask if those boxes are even yours to begin with, or just expectations inherited from other people’s ideas of what success should look like.
What if your boxes are different? What if you’re more focused on healing, building a fulfilling career, traveling, finding creative joy or simply becoming someone you’re proud of?
Marriage and parenthood are two huge roles—ones no one is ever fully prepared for. But I believe self-reflection and inner work go a long way. Knowing yourself, understanding your needs and working through your baggage doesn’t guarantee a perfect future, but it lays a stronger foundation for whatever comes next.
So no, I’m not racing to check boxes just because the world expects me to. I believe the life I’m building, slowly and thoughtfully, is just as valid as any white picket fence dream. Maybe one day I’ll have the husband, the house and the kids. Maybe I won’t. But I’d rather arrive at those milestones fully me—not a version molded by pressure, but one shaped by purpose.