I recently had the privilege to attend, as a chaperone, a conference of an organization for students who make all A and B grades. During the keynote speaker, an entire school delegation, not ours, got up and walked out. Surely, they didn’t do so because they disagreed with the speaker, but I am assuming it was at the behest of their chaperones or teachers. In addition to this mass exit during a formal presentation, there were many other instances where the audience, youth and adult alike, was talking amongst themselves, playing on phones, or wandering aimlessly around the auditorium while other presentations were going on. I was amazed, even appalled. While I never attended this same conference as a student, I can only imagine the differences between ‘back in my day’ and ‘in today’s world.’
Not long before attending that event, I was at a conference for my job. Amazingly, the same scenarios played out there as well: constant bathroom breaks, exits for phone calls, whispering around the tables. More than one of the paid speakers even stopped their presentation in hopes to gain attention. When that didn’t happen, they had to call down the offenders. Over a microphone. In front of colleagues and administration.
In yet another display of disrespect, during the recent State of the Union Address given by President Biden, it seemed acceptable for politicians and others in attendance to loudly display their displeasure, even booing at times. For those in agreeance, frequent interruptions of applause often caused President Biden to stop his speech.
At what point did these behaviors go from appalling to acceptable? When did this become ok?
I realize that many will say COVID changed everything. And maybe it did get worse during that two-plus year time of virtual reality. But I think that there has been an increasingly accelerated decline in respect in general. ‘Back in my day’ I wouldn’t dare have called an elder by their first name without using a title or term of endearment. I would have been corrected if I answered with a simple yes or no without attaching a ma’am or sir to it. I would have been given a pinch or an elbow for talking during a church service. And I am sure I was taken out for a talk about my behavior during more than one meal. Maybe ‘back in your day’ it was even more strict. Yet, some of these infractions seem minor compared to booing the President of the United States or even walking out during a speakers keynote speech.
Whose responsibility is it to address this behavior? Do we give warnings before the event or punishments after? Should we let it ride or address it immediately? Do we blame home lives or stiffen school rules? Maybe we write about it in a local newspaper.
In addition to chaperone, 4-H agent, aunt, friend, daughter and colleague, I am a mother as well. A mother who feels like she is chastising her kids for the behavior of others. Using bad examples to teach my kids what not to do. (I get that from my daddy.) But is that enough? Will I one day see my child boo the president or accept a phone call during a presentation? Or will my child be the one who stops their speech to wait on the respect of others?
In less than a month, with my 4-H agent hat on, I will load my car with local youth to attend 4-H Day at the State House, an annual event that allows 4-H’ers time on the State House grounds to admire history and witness politics. We allow these future leaders to meet with their representatives and watch from the gallery as acts and proposals become law. They see lobbyist, liaisons, and reporters performing daily duties. And you know what? They do it all respectfully, without interrupting, whispering questions to their 4-H agents about what’s happening and why, standing and offering a hand when being introduced, waiting in lines patiently, dressed appropriately.
My promise to Newberry is that you will be represented well and with respect by kids who know better. And while I wish that we all knew better, even more so, I wish we all expected better.
If you would like to speak with an agent about what 4-H offers and how to join, contact Alana West at 803.768.8442 or awillin@clemson.edu. More information on Newberry County 4-H is available here https://sites.google.com/view/newberry-county-4-h. Clemson University Cooperative Extension Service offers its programs to people of all ages, regardless of race, color, gender, religion, national origin, disability, political beliefs, sexual orientation, gender identity, marital or family status and is an equal opportunity employer.