The last few weeks I am finding myself visiting more friends in the local hospital or retirement homes giving comfort, listening and praying with them. I also know “laughter is a great medicine.”
I’ve found a few good ones, that we can enjoy and share.
A Retirees latest trip to a grocery Store!
Yesterday I was at a grocery store, buying a large bag of dog chow for my loyal pet dog, and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. I wondered, what did she think I had, an elephant?
So because I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog. I said, I am starting the dog food diet, again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before waking up in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.
I told her that it was a perfect diet and the way it works is to load your pockets with dog food nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again. ( I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told here no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.
Well, I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
The grocery store won’t let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Not sure who did the story, but I got from Mike Cochran & Allen Jacobs.
Furthermore, Lori Elizabeth, sent me her quote, “All the liberals are going nuts over President Trump talking to Putin. You’d think he he gave him 20 percent of our Uranium or something.”
Stay cool this summer and enjoy life.
Till next time!
Louis W. Neiger, CLU, is retired from insurance and security planning, he lives in Newberry. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.