So who on Earth was it that decided that January was a good time to start a diet program? Sure, sure, sure-we overindulge over the holidays eating cookies and candy and lolling about under the Christmas tree and all. But what's the rush?

I for one have decided that this year I will let my natural rhythms guide my actions and prepare for hibernation.

Taking my lessons from the majestic bear I shall: let my fur thicken (put on sweaters and thick fuzzy socks); stock up on calories, especially the meaningful “stick to your ribs” variety (meals that involve slow cookers, pork fat or a couple starches); sleep well and long, obeying the dictates of the ephemeral winter sun.

This is not a new impulse for me. Each New Year the ball drops, the champagne cork pops and I find myself feeling guilty the next day while the world announces resolutions and I say, “Nope, got nothing.” This is not to say that I don't feel people should take stock, improve ourselves and so on. But for me, if it has to be annual, that's generally a birthday-style impulse.

Nope, metaphors can hit the curb because, for me, the New Year is a time to clean house in the literal sense. Perhaps it is simply the need to get the den or cave emptied out before snuggling down all winter long, but I have long felt the urge to “spring clean” come January.

Toting the Christmas tree away and finding all those clear spaces revealed after a month of tinsel and greens, I feel peaceful. I also feel reluctant to fill it back up.

Just taking a gander at those wide open spaces of living room floor and mantle makes me yearn for more order. And thankfully, organizing totes are generally found on every store aisle this time of year.

Given my tendency to clean and hibernate in January, I am ready to propose a swap. Spring cleaning and New Year dieting can switch spots.

After all, it always has made more sense to dig into salads as the crop comes into season. Not to mention if you get into bikini shape in May or June, why that is actually approaching the time you might expect to be putting one on. Well, maybe you expect to put one on, I gave bikinis up around age 10.

I admire all those that hit the gyms or that hit their treadmills running. Constant attention to good health would be a wonderful habit, and one I've never possessed. I have just never been able to wrap my brain, or my motivation, around it in January. Not when it is this cold, and there are holiday leftover casseroles still to be invented.

So I'm off to clean my cave, and to hibernate. Anyone want my gym shoes until spring?